My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
