Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Randomize
