He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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