come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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