I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
