My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
