We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
