i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
