A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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