he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
birth control should be required to get into college
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
