i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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