you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
