Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
