Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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