Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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