Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
