these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
