areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
