Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
