Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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