i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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