you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
