My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
