i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
someone owes me an orgasm
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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