he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
