Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
