u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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