I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
