you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
