you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
