It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
