He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
