cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
