I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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