Yo dont text me then not text me
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
