Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
COCAINE IS GR8
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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