I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
