Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
