Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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