You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
