Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
