Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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