What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
