What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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