I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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