If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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