i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Randomize
