I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
