Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
