i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just google imaged poop.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
