You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Duck Duck Cougar?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
