Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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