R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
