Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
