Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
