If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There's always time for handjobs
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
