I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
