You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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